Beautiful Monsters
by wickedprince
Summary: She watched the blood slowly drain out of the body of the young and innocent Haku until nothing was left. Her sanity gone along with it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**Beautiful Monsters**

**Chapter 1: When the World Breaks**

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei." His only female student said, giving a small smile when he asked her if she was all right.

They were just outside the Hokage tower, finally done giving their mission reports after that extremely unprecedented mission from the Land of Waves.

He had asked all of them how they were just after the debriefing ended and he was welcomed with an enthusiastic response from Naruto, a shrug from the young Uchiha and a tired smile from the only female member of their team, Sakura.

Personally, he himself was quite tired as well having to deal with Zabusa and to have aided in the death of the young Haku. He hated killing the young and seemingly innocent especially since the child seemed to only be working in the best interest of his benefactor.

And most importantly, he hadn't wanted to kill him in front of his genin team but there had been no other choice, it was either that or have them kill him themselves and he wasn't quite sure they were ready for that.

He sighed. At least it was over with, none of them taking any serious injuries because of the incident.

"Now, that's over. Let's all go home." He said, "We'll resume training three days from now."

He briefly heard a loud complaint from the blonde genin before he disappeared out of their sight, leaving them to their own devices.

They were back in Konoha.

_It was safe here._

* * *

_Blood._

_Blood._

_Did you see the blood leave his body? It was absolutely beautiful._

Sakura stared at the white ceiling of her room.

She had kept hearing that voice in her head. The voice before that had been harmless in the past, the voice of what she called _'Inner Sakura' _chant time and time again of how beautiful it looked when Kakashi-sensei plunged his hand into Haku's body and taking away the poor boy's life.

Never had she thought that her inner self would be this demented. Oh yes, she knew that Inner-Sakura was incredibly violent but she merely dismissed her as the one to voice out her real thoughts on situations and only to herself so as to avoid the judgment of the people around her.

_Are you listening Sakura?_

_The blood. Did you see the blood?_

"Yes." She said aloud in answer. She was tired, physically and mentally, her other persona draining what was left of her energy by her words about blood and gore. She wanted nothing more than to just fall into a deep sleep but she felt that the voice in her head would only get worse once she enters dreamland.

She was _afraid_. Yes, she certainly was.

What if this... _thing_ inside of her was a bigger threat than what she would have liked to imagine.

What if her teammates found out?

Her eyes grew wide at the realization. They wouldn't accept her, she was sure. No one could know, not even Kakashi-sensei. _No one._

She stood up, staring at herself in the mirror. She was so _clean._

Earlier today with her team, she looked at Kakashi and the only thing she could see was the blood on his hands and how they would drip down to the ground hauntingly slow.

_Blood._

_Blood everywhere._

"Shut up!" She shouted at no one in particular. She wanted the voice in her head to stop, to stop speaking of such horrible things, of how she wanted more of that delicious red liquid that flowed out of the young boy's body.

_This is why you're so weak._

The voice in her head began_._

_How can you win without anything to motivate you besides the love of a young boy who doesn't even want to be with you?_

_WEAK._

_USELESS._

"I SAID SHUT UP!" She said slamming her fists against the mirror of her dresser watching as the shards fell to the ground.

She looked at her hands, where the pieces of the mirror cut into her delicate skin making it bleed profusely, but she could only stand there and stare as her inner persona relished in the metallic smell and warm temperature of the liquid flowing down her arms.

It was only hours after that she realized the whispers had stopped.

* * *

Kakashi watched his genin team from the trees. They were waiting at their usual meeting place. Sasuke and Naruto's one-sided bickering making itself known while the young Sakura just stared at them quietly from quite a distance.

It was unusual to say the least, as Sakura would usually be the one arguing with the blonde on Sasuke's behalf whilst singing his praises.

"Geez Sakura-chan, you've been awfully quiet." He heard the energetic blonde mention when finally got tired of trying to pick a fight with his black-haired teammate, "What have you been doing anyway?"

"Reading mostly. I've been having trouble sleeping lately." She admitted to him.

"Aww Sakura-chan, you should rest more!" He whined at her, the pink-haired girl only gave him a smile in return.

Deciding that he was probably late enough, he decided to make his presence known to his team at the bridge.

_POOF!_

"You're late!" Naruto screamed at him as if on cue while Sasuke merely gave him a look that he didn't quite know how to place but he wasn't too worried about that. He was more concerned about the reaction of his female student who stood the closest to the spot he had chosen to appear and the girl nearly jumped in surprise before giving him a look that bordered on caution and relief.

"I got lost." He simply said to Naruto's accusations, accompanied by his lazy smile.

"So, on a more serious note, let's do some training today!" He said cheerfully with a smile, his visible eye crinkling with the effort, "I assume you're all well-rested?"

He took them in one by one.

Naruto was pretty enthusiastic, nothing too new for the blonde-haired boy. The prospect of training always seemed to excite him especially after their missions returned to the monotonous and trivial D-ranks.

Sasuke ignored him but he could tell the young Uchiha was very pleased with the prospect of actually doing something that he deemed important enough. He did notice he took.

Sakura only looked at him with eyes that were unusually cautious.

"Sakura, you go first against one of my clones." Kakashi said, conjuring up a bunshin and proceeding to walk with the two boys to the shade.

He saw her take up a stance and proceeded to watch as she and his clone stared off, waiting for each other's moves. It was his clone that acted first upon his whim, Sakura could be extremely patient when she wanted to be and she was an extremely cautious fighter if the mission to the Land of Waves was any indication.

The clone charged whilst the pink-haired genin tried to back away and make some distance but he had been successful and took Sakura into a battle of taijutsu.

He watched and inwardly cringe, the girl was extremely bad at it. He wasn't surprised though, even she had admitted that it wasn't one of her stronger points. She knew her weaknesses at least.

She reached for her pouch and released a handful of shuriken in his bunshin's face and suddenly Kakashi had a sudden feeling that something was wrong with the young girl's movements.

He found it strange that Sakura would do something so uncharacteristically malevolent to someone she knew but maybe she had the mindset that it was only a bunshin.

She was successful though as he made his bunshin back off, avoiding the flurry of weapons directed for his eyes and watched as she took out a scroll from her pouch before throwing it in front of his clone and releasing a handsign.

She'd won.

Sasuke stood to the side, slightly impressed at the pink-haired girl who stood rooted to the spot staring at the area where the clone had disintegrated a while ago, after the explosion of weapons practically shredded it to ribbons.

It was slightly disturbing the lengths that she had gone to win that spar, knowing it was only a training session and what if that had really been Kakashi? Maybe she would have reacted differently, maybe she wouldn't. Would the copy-nin have evaded that surprise without a single injury even when his clone was practically torn to pieces?

"Good job, Sakura." He heard their sensei clap beside him, a little late on the uptake. He saw the jounin give a strange glance at the girl who turned to look up at him, "Although I'm pretty surprised you knew how to seal weapons." He said, ruffling her hair when he approached the young girl in the middle of the field.

She gave him a small smile, "It was what I was reading on the past few days."

"I see. Keep it up then." Kakashi said, in a voice that made Sasuke wonder if the jounin was thinking of something else, "Sasuke, Naruto, you're up."

Sakura walked past him in order to get to the shade and she said in the most chilling voice he has ever heard, "Not even a single drop."

"What?" He paused.

The young girl turned her face to him, giving a smile meant to reassure that he had not just heard her whisper something that that sent a sliver of something he couldn't name down his spine.

"It's nothing, Sasuke-kun."

* * *

_Blood. I want blood, Sakura._

The whispers were beginning again. They kept assaulting her mind every time she stopped focusing on anything. It was why she had been reading and training so much the past few days.

Her body was sore but it was a welcomed pain compared to the suffering her mind was forced to endure under the hands of her deranged inner self.

_Hurt them._

The first time that she had hurt herself in the mirror, the whispers had stopped and the moment that she dropped onto her bed, she fell asleep almost immediately. When she woke up, they increased ten-fold.

Shouts echoing in her head, demanding blood and pain. She had been so close to hurting herself again just to make it stop, but the screams only increased asking for the suffering of anyone other than herself, otherwise her other personality vowed to make her pay.

She had hoped that they would dwindle down through time, that it would cease after a few days, maybe an effect of trauma from witnessing death for the first time but everyday they kept on getting worse and worse.

She watched slowly as Sasuke and Naruto began to spar. Trying to shut out the whispers in her head.

_Look at Sasuke. Wouldn't it feel great to make him bleed? Once and for all, shut him up for looking down on us._

'No.' Sakura thought firmly, it doesn't matter if he did look down on her. Violence was not an answer, especially not violence on a comrade.

_Naruto would be a great target too. He'd heal and we can just bang him up again. Let's do it. Do it. Come on, Sakura. I know you hate them deep down in your heart. I'm you, after all._

She was losing her patience, 'No. You're not.'

She stood up from where she was previously sitting cross-legged in the shade and approached her sensei who was watching intently, as the two boys began their spar.

"Kakashi-sensei, do you mind if I do a few laps?" She asked intently, hoping that the physical exhaustion would get her mind off of the psychotic voice in her head asking for the blood of her teammates.

"Sure, Sakura-chan." Kakashi said as he turned to look at her briefly, "You should rest though. You look just about ready to fall over." He said, giving her a look with his visible eye.

'If only you knew.'

**A/N: Hi there! I'm pretty much testing the waters here so this chapters pretty short. I'm not entirely sure of the potential of the story but the idea has always bothered me what if her inner personality, being as violent as she is, would be prone to some kind of break and would go all psychotic. I'm looking for a beta-reader though so if you're interested please message me!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Beautiful Monsters**

**Chapter 2: To Survive**

Sabaku no Temari wasn't happy.

She was in Konoha, a village that seemed to thrive at a ridiculous pace compared to her own village back in the dessert. The luscious trees growing everywhere and the smiling people were a far cry from her home. It was very different.

And she was jealous.

"That hurt you little brat!" She heard her brother shout.

Temari turned her head to find her brother, Kankuro, holding up a kid a few years younger than him by his collar.

She rolled her eyes, "We don't have time for this, Kankuro."

Really. Boys were so immature. It was so difficult being the eldest and not to mention, the only girl between her siblings.

Kankuro was always picking fights with random strangers. As for her other brother… Well, she'd rather not dwell on that.

She shivered.

"Who are you, Sand-nin?" Great. More Konoha brats here to annoy them.

She looked up to see a girl with the strangest hair color she's ever seen. What self-respecting shinobi would actually color their hair pink?

"That's none of your business." She snapped at her.

She gave her a passing look.

"I wasn't talking about you," She mentioned, as if she just noticed them there, standing in front of her, "I was talking about your friend."

Temari saw her look up into the trees.

_Gaara._

Even she hadn't noticed he was there. The moment the sight of her youngest sibling registered in her mind, she stiffened with fear. Kankuro must have looked up as well because he had dropped the Konoha brat and walked over to stand by her side, his body tight with caution.

"Kankuro," His voice sounded bored but they knew better, "Stop this foolishness at once."

"Gaa-" Kankuro began.

"You sensed me?" She heard Gaara ask the pink-haired girl from his perch up on the tree. She feels that there's a little more interest in his tone than what should be considered safe for anyone.

She glanced at the pink-haired girl who looked to be a genin, judging by the headband holding up her hair. She was starting to feel a sliver of pity for the younger girl. She'd probably be Gaara's first prey if she even decided to enter the exams now that she's caught his attention.

It was strange though. The look this girl was giving her brother was somewhat… _unnatural_, to say the least.

She just kept on staring intently at him without fear and even, a hint of… was that envy?

"I smelled you." She said, as if that was the most normal thing in the world to say, "You reek of blood."

Temari saw Kankuro pale while she smothered a cringe.

_That_ was definitely not normal.

"Sakura-chan," She heard the blonde boy beside her say, "What are you talking about? I can't smell anything."

Temari saw him turn to them, "Who are you guys anyway?"

She was about to open her mouth to tell him that it was none of his business if he didn't even know that the chuunin exams were taking place but Gaara effectively silenced her with a look.

"What's your name?" His attention was back to the pink-haired girl, who was looking still looking at him blankly with no hint of fear.

"Aren't you going to ask mine?" The blonde shouted from her side excitedly. What he was excited about Temari had no idea.

"Uchiha Sasuke."

More people from trees.

Freaks.

Gaara barely looked up when the strangestrange girl from before turned and left as if Temari's monster of a brother never stood in front of her.

She could feel the sand around her feet shift testily.

_This was going to be bad._

* * *

Sakura didn't even care that she practically insulted those sand-nin with her rudeness as she quickly rushed back to her home.

Inner Sakura had gone in a rampage when the smell of blood hit her senses. The scent was too strong for her to simply ignore it. Living in a village full of ninja, she thought that she would be able to get accustomed to it, but that young red-haired boy… he bathed in the smell of blood.

"_See, Sakura-chan. There's nothing wrong with killing."_

'No. You're wrong.' She thought to herself but even she wasn't sure anymore. The temptation was too strong.

"_That boy… he probably took care of someone last night."_ Inner-Sakura said, her voice laced with envy.

Sakura couldn't ignore the fact that her Inner had chosen to use the words 'took care' rather than 'murder'.

She wasn't even aware of how she knew that he had killed recently. Perhaps it had been the young man's eyes, his eyes were laced with a certain madness that could probably rival her own.

"_No, Sakura-chan, that was all you." _Her inner self was smiling with glee, _"You smelled the blood before you even saw him, what do you think that makes you?"_

She honestly didn't know.

Whatever condition she had, it was definitely getting worse. Her resolve was wavering, she was too tired from having to deal with this psychopathic voice inside her head that wanted the blood of those close to her.

"_There's nothing wrong with killing."_

'But there is.' She wanted to argue. It was wrong, no one was supposed to be able to kill that easily. It was inhumane.

She could almost feel Inner Sakura laugh, _"Remember, Sakura, no matter what you say I'm still a part of you, probably even the truest part of you."_

That's what she was afraid of.

* * *

"Those of you left, you pass." Morino Ibiki looked at the room full of chuunin hopefuls and frowned.

There were plenty of them left. It was both a good and a bad thing. It certainly meant that this generation was certainly showing promise to be a great one, but it also meant that Anko was going to give him shit for passing so many this time around. Well, at least they knew the point of the written exam.

As they all filed out of the room, dragging themselves towards the next examination area, a small pink-haired girl stopped to stare at him. He had noticed him a while ago, staring as well. He knew that his looks were, if not intimidating, certainly intriguing but this little girl took everything to a new level.

Ibiki raised a brow.

She smiled.

And for some reason, it sent a chill down his spine.

He didn't know why the hell that unsettled him. She wasn't intimidating to say the least, being a tiny little thing with the most delicate coloring that was almost ridiculous for a ninja. However, he felt that behind that pretty little head there was something going on that he honestly didn't want to know.

He saw her turn and leave the room with the others.

It wasn't an exaggeration for anyone to say that Morino Ibiki wasn't intimidated by anyone. He was the head for Torture and Interrogation in Konoha and he has seen his fair share of action before he got the position so it would make sense that he had already been a hardened professional but that little girl, she unnerved him.

He had previously thought that this years candidates were the cream of the crop, the downside being that they were very soft and naïve. Despite having geniuses and prodigies from the different clans, they knew nothing about the real world. They were too relaxed, save for a few people.

He noticed a blonde-haired genin from Suna who kept on glancing back and forth between her red-haired teammate and the pink-haired girl from before. It would do well to be cautious about other nin, but this girl seemed to be terrified of the both of them.

He didn't know what happened and he didn't want to find out for now.

There were too many mysteries surrounding that pink-haired girl, who wrote down her name as Haruno Sakura under Hatake Kakashi.

And that look… that look she gave him before she left the room. It made him feel _unclean._

It was as if she knew _everything_ that he had done.

All the heads he had taken and the blood that he had spilled.

He shook his head. They were Anko's problem now.

Besides, what could a little pink-haired genind do?

* * *

Sakura hugged her knees to her chest.

She watched on as Sasuke and Naruto slept the hours away under the huge tree that she had dragged them under while she waged a mental war with her inner self.

Everything… everything had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

She had watched Sasuke get attacked by that _thing_ that was in the forest disguised as a grass-nin and she could do nothing about but only watch in morbid fascination. Her body became as stiff as a statue and she doubted she could do anything even if she had the nerve to move. The man who had an uncanny resemblance to a snake would no doubt pulverize her to a pulp.

And now, now that they were away from all that, her fucked up Inner self made herself known by repeating and repeating whispers of horror in her head.

"_Come on, Sakura-chan."_ The voice in her head began,_ "You can slaughter them now and just blame it on that attack a while ago. No one would know."_

She glanced at the raven-haired boy then to the blonde-haired one next to him.

"No."

She had been bothering her ever since the written exams, Inner Sakura had been careful to point out that their examiner, a man called Morino Ibiki, stank of fear and blood. She later found out that he was the best in his field: Torture and Interrogation. No wonder.

"_No one will know…" _She felt her inner self smile even more, _"Or maybe those children outside will be even better to play with."_

"What?" Then she felt it, three chakra signatures just outside of the tree that they were in.

"Come out and play, little kunoichi." One of the boys taunted.

She glanced at her teammates before hardening her resolve. She needed to protect them, no matter what. With that, she stood from her perch leaving a bunshin to take her place while she took to the trees.

From her perch, she watched as the three genin from Sound, judging by their headbands, disable her traps and proceed to have a confrontation with the bunshin she had left. None of them seemed to have notice that it wasn't the real her. Obviously they weren't taught to sense chakra properly.

She watched as the female member of the Sound team grab her bunshin's hair and pull tightly, stepping on its back, "You have such pretty hair…" She taunted, "No wonder you're so weak, you only have time for such useless things." She saw her smirk as she pulled tighter on the long pink locks.

'Jealous bitch.' Sakura growled in her mind, her thoughts turning dark, 'I'll give you something to smirk about.'

"_I approve. Let's destroy her." _Inner Sakura cooed in delight.

The next moment, her bunshin disintegrated causing the Sound genin to fall flat on her back.

"Watch out, Kin!" The young man wrapped in bandages shouted when he finally sensed her falling down from the tree above the girl named Kin, but it was too late. Sakura smiled in horrific glee.

Sakura knew it was wrong, but she couldn't help but relish at the sound of ribs being crushed under her gravity-aided weight.

_That would do._

A passing thought went through her mind that she might have crushed the girl's organs in the process of disabling but she brushed it off. She had bigger problems right now than her strangely absent conscience. She didn't want to know if the girl named Kin died because of what she had done, and to be quite honest with herself, she couldn't care less anymore.

Sakura turned her back against her and rushed at the other one who was closer to Sasuke and Naruto.

"_Don't worry, Sakura-chan." _Inner Sakura murmured, obviously happy at the gore happening before her eyes, _"I can make the guilt go away. Just go on and rip all of them apart, make it rain with blood."_

She launched three kunai knives, aimed at the young man's head; however, this proved to be quite useless as he merely opened his palms and with some kind of jutsu, deflected the projectiles without too much effort.

"Dosu, go check out Kin!" He yelled over his shoulder at the man in bandages, "I'll take care of this!"

Sakura, threw more and more kunai, running as fast as she can to engage him with the one in her hand before she ran out. He raised his arms once more and then she felt it.

Her head ached, and she felt the blood poor down from her ears as her eardrums burst but she ignored it. She had to survive. She launched herself at the nin when she was finally near enough and she bit his arm to keep him from throwing her off of him and then she plunged her kunai into his gut with a squelching sound before a warm liquid began to pour down her arm.

She saw his face make a movement that looked like a scream but her ears couldn't hear anymore, the only thing echoing inside her head was the manical laughter of inner Sakura.

'_Let me out to play, Sakura!' _She said in glee.

Sakura twisted the kunai in the young man's gut, not caring for the blood that kept pouring out like water from a faucet. Then she felt him try to seize her shoulders in order to push her away.

Fuck it.

_If her insanity was going to save them, then she will embrace it._

She felt a quick pang of fear as she imagined Inner Sakura smile wide in her head but she couldn't bring herself to get concerned at the moment. She had to survive this, _they_ had to survive this.

She felt herself smile a little, the same smile that she had felt on her lips as she saw Ibiki stained with the blood of his victims.

Yes, now she knew what she had over these naïve little boys and girls. They lacked the will to kill anyone seriously and she had that in buckets.

As she bit down on the young man's arm, tearing through flesh and muscle her teeth reaching the metal tubes that had probably been surgically attached, she pushed down on the kunai harder and harder, twisting it in strange directions until she was sure that his insides were now just a mass of whatever shit was left inside his body.

The boy she was literally slicing to pieces finally stilled.

It was done.

He was dead.

She stood up and spat, blood and probably a little piece of cloth and skin from her mouth hit the ground. She wiped at the blood that dribbled down the sides of her mouth down to her chin before turning around.

That boy the other one called Dosu was still there, his eyes wide in quite possibly horror.

Sakura simply stood there, a smile slowly gracing her blood-covered features.

"Are you next?"

* * *

Dosu watched in unconcealed fear as Zaku was devoured by the pink-haired Konoha nin.

He had checked on Kin and sure enough the girl was already dead, her ribs crushed by the weight of the girl who was now facing off with his other teammate. He was about to jump into action when he heard his scream and he paused his actions.

Silently, he thanked the gods that he did.

"_What the fuck?"_ He thought to himself as he watched her twist the kunai she had embedded in Zaku's stomach before biting down on his arm even harder and trying to tear it apart with her own teeth.

_Monster._

That was the only word that rang through his head when he saw her slice through his inside with a bit of difficulty but not with a little satisfaction in her eyes. He saw the raw happiness she felt reflected in her green orbs as the blood spurted out of Zaku and onto herself.

Zaku screamed.

And then it was over, the young nin simply stopped moving.

He watched while she slowly stood up, spitting out what seemed to be a part of Zaku's arm and proceeded to wipe at the blood that was now adorning her face, then she turned.

Dosu stilled, his breathing coming out in shallow breaths.

The girl smiled at him with a smile that surprisingly looked innocent despite all the blood covering her and the body of his dead teammates scattered around her.

"Are you next?" She asked casually, as if she was merely asking if he was next in line at a stall. Her head was slightly tilted to the side, that happy smile still stuck on her face and her eyes twinkling.

"I…" He began but he honestly didn't know what to say before opting to simply say, "I don't want any trouble."

He saw her frown.

Dosu grabbed the scroll inside of his pouch and slowly put it on the ground before backing away, "You can have our scroll, just let me leave."

He saw her glance at the scroll at his feet, he knew for a fact that this was what they need but she seemed unconcerned and was instead focused on his every movement, as if he was her prey and she, the predator.

Her eyes narrowed.

He turned and ran.

For a moment, he checked his back to see if the girl had given him chase, and when he was sure that she had stayed behind, he let out a sigh in relief.

They had failed their mission to test Orochimaru's potential vessel's strength, but at least he was alive and not butchered by that pink-haired monster.

**A/N: I honestly don't know where I'm going with this story but it seemed particularly fun to write. I've always thought that Inner Sakura was some kind of psychological disorder. Please review and tell me what you think! It helps me write. Haha.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi! Sorry for the long wait, I was pretty busy with work last month so I wasn't able to write and to be quite honest, I didn't have the slightest bit of drive. I guess you could call it writer's block or something but I really am glad that I managed to get this story underway! I looked around a bit as well, I realized there are ACTUALLY a lot of story line with a similar plot as this (Inner Sakura goes crazy blah blah), but well, I don't really know what I'm trying to say. Hahaha.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**Beautiful Monsters**

**Chapter 3: Two Sides of the Same Coin**

Sakura stared blankly at the small stream.

She had immersed her hands -her hands covered with the blood of her enemies- in the water turning it slightly pink.

There was a mixture of disgust and slight curiosity as the blood ran down her fingertips, but Inner Sakura had kept her word on what she had promised. There was only a little trickle of guilt that dwelt inside her heart at what she had done, but she was still _afraid_.

Afraid that the dam might break, and she would be reduced to nothing but a heap of sorrow at tearing a boy apart with only her bare hands. Or even worse, she was afraid that she would eventually feel no sorrow at all.

She stared at her reflection in the semi-clear water.

She had dragged the two boys closer to the stream in order to keep an eye on them while she washed off the evidence of the massacre that occurred in the forest.

For some reason, she couldn't stomach the idea of them seeing her like this. She was covered in blood from head to toe, a mixture of her own and that boy called Zaku's, while a myriad of bruises covered her arms and face.

'Most of it was his though,' She relished before she could stop herself.

It was no wonder that boy that was wrapped in bandages stared at her like she was his nightmare came true. He had looked at her like she was a monster incarnate that would show no qualms about taking his life in the most brutal way possible… and it was true.

She remained like this for what felt like hours and then, she felt _it._

"Sakura…" She felt a bruising grip on her arm and she whirled around.

_Sasuke._

He was covered in black marks that ran throughout his skin like some kind of deranged tattoo that exuded power so menacing that it was almost suffocating her.

She watched Sasuke's eyes turned ruby red as he slowly assessed her injured body.

"Who did this to you?" His voice was ominous, and for some reason she found it even more attractive.

He was gripping her arm so hard that she felt like it might break. She briefly wondered why she was so calm and why her mind was so quiet. She would have expected her other personality to be shouting obscenities and promises of pain at the way he was treating her.

"It was nothing, Sasuke."

But the boy didn't seem to want to take that as an answer as he grabbed her roughly by her upper arms, "Who did this to you, Sakura? Tell me now!"

He looked ready to kill and his words sounded like a promise of death to whoever dealt her this wrong.

But she knew better.

Sasuke wouldn't be able to do it. For all the young boy's extravagant shows of his goal as an avenger, she was sure that Sasuke would never be able to kill anyone and enjoy it like she did. He would never be able to smile as the blood of his enemies showered him and pieces of their flesh turned cold in his hands. He would never know the satisfaction of murdering anyone just because.

…

…

Sakura's eyes widened at her thoughts.

_She really was a monster._

Why…

Wasn't this simply an influence of her inner personality? Wasn't it simply spurred on by the need to survive?

There was a nagging feeling that said, _'No, you simply wanted to kill and they presented themselves as a socially acceptable target,'_ and it was not Inner Sakura.

"Tell me and I'll kill them!" Sasuke roared, furious as the strange power strengthened even more manifesting as a whirlwind of endless chakra around them but she was too preoccupied with her own self-realizations.

Sakura could only stare at him dumbly, her mind whirring and her voice barely a whisper, "No, Sasuke… Stop it."

She didn't know if it was her words or the way she looked that made Sasuke stop in his tracks. She didn't know what expression she was making at the moment, her mind unable to cope that she was slowly and surely reconciling with her violence.

The chakra surrounding them disappeared but the marks on his body remained, his face still as intimidating as it was a few seconds ago but his eyes still held the question of what had occurred while he and Naruto were unconscious.

Sakura shut her eyes tight.

"They're gone…" Her voice hoarse.

Where was her inner personality now? Where had she gone? Wasn't she supposed to be helping her deal with all this… she didn't know what to call it.

She was not guilty.

She was shocked and horrified at her own actions.

"I killed them." She confessed to the boy who still held her not as a lover would but held her all the same.

"And Sasuke," She said, green eyes finally opening, "I enjoyed every minute of it."

She could only hope that he wouldn't look at her the way that surviving Sound-nin had before he ran away.

* * *

Sakura looked so _broken._

Sasuke felt the dark marks around his body recede and as they left, something akin to exhaustion began to make itself known. He didn't know what had happened but the power that had been rippling through his veins had a terrible toll on his body.

He let go of Sakura and watched as the young girl stumbled into the water trying to clean the blood off of her arms.

"What's happening to you?" He hadn't wanted to ask but this was beyond normal.

Fresh genin usually shied away from death. Sasuke was sure that he himself had qualms about killing someone despite his goal of avenging his clan. The moment that it had become clear, he had been meant to kill Haku and not Kakashi, he had paled considerably and proceeded to train like a man possessed.

But Sakura, sweet Sakura, seemed to love the horrifying morbidity that came with taking the life of another person brutally based on how she looked when she told him.

He briefly wondered if this had anything to do with the complete 180 her actions had taken recently.

Of course, he had noticed that she was acting terribly odd lately. She was always tired and during spars Sakura always seemed to have something new (and unbelievably violent) up her sleeve.

At first, he appreciated the change. He thought perhaps that she'd finally given up on him and had decided to pursue her training more seriously. It would do her teammates and herself well to be able to protect herself when the time came; however, little by little he noticed her strange quirks.

The way she would stare at him and Naruto when they would spar and injure themselves short of killing each other, how she refused to have her wounds treated no matter how bad they were, and that very strange encounter they had with the team of the Sand genin.

"I think I'm going crazy, Sasuke." He watched as she scrubbed her hands raw with water despite them being completely rid of blood, "When I saw Kakashi-sensei kill Haku, I thought it was the most wonderful thing I've seen in my entire life." She paused, her eyes gaining a dreamy look.

"How the blood dribbled down Kakashi-sensei's arm… and he closed his eyes for the last time… how he simply turned limp…" He watched her smile and he had to stop himself form openly shuddering.

"I think… I think you need help." He had never thought that he would say these words to Sakura, never imagined the day that he would be so concerned about her mental health but it seemed that he was proven wrong.

"No!" She cried, "They'd remove me from duty!"

Her eyes had a manic look in them as she whipped around grabbing his arms in a grip so strong that he was sure they would bruise.

"You're just not meant to be a shinobi, Sakura." There. He had said it. He had thought about this before as well but her skills as of late convinced him that maybe she was talented as a ninja but now…

"You don't get it, Sasuke." She said, her eyes turning towards him. Eyes that had once been sparking emeralds were now a vile shade of green, "This is my outlet. I can either kill enemies that threaten the safety of our village or those people who live in it. It's all the same, they're all just bags of flesh either way." She smiled.

Sasuke felt it.

Genuine _fear._

The last time he felt this was that _night_.

Anger began to build up again, was Sakura turning into his brother. A man who had no remorse when he held the body of his own mother, watching her life slowly drain away.

"Besides, if I quit now you guys would have no chance to advance," She said her voice strained, "Would you report me and give up this chance to get stronger?"

He stiffened.

She was right.

* * *

Naruto rejoiced as they entered the tower after Iruka confirmed that they were one of the few teams that passed.

He was slightly disappointed that he missed most of the action, as he was unconscious for the most part, but it was tampered down when Iruka had looked at him so proudly that he decided to make up for it in the next exam.

"Let's get something to eat to celebrate, Sakura-chan!" He exclaimed, with a smile.

He glanced at his two teammates who followed silently behind him, the pink-haired girl looking a little worse for wear but generally okay and the brooding Sasuke, who looked so uncomfortable and kept sneaking glances at the former.

Naruto inwardly raised a brow. He was not as oblivious as others expect him to be and he was sure that whatever incident had occurred both his teammates wouldn't discuss it outright.

"I think I'll pass, Naruto," Sakura answered first before glancing at both him and Sasuke wearily and looking at the floor, "I need to do something first."

With that, she left both boys there.

Naruto questioningly looked at her back before glancing at Sasuke, who looked relieved that she was gone.

"What," He began, slightly miffed that his teammates were keeping him out of the loop, "Did she rape you or something?"

Sasuke stiffened before sending him a glare and proceeded to walk away.

Naruto stared at him.

What the fuck happened?

* * *

Sakura locked herself up in the bathrooms of the tower they were waiting in for the next part of the exams.

Stopping in front of the large mirror, she stared at her reflection.

'What are you doing, Sakura?' She asked herself.

She remembered the blood that had coated her hands, the blood of that young boy she literally tore apart. How they were so warm and slippery, how it… _tasted._

Sakura even had to stop herself from making sure she got the job done, that she should have gone after that other boy so that they could never come back and get revenge. That she should have checked their corpses in case they were still alive and slash their throats or maybe pull out their hea-

_You're accepting it._

She shivered. Her other personality was back. She didn't understand why it took her so long to resurface, why of all the times she needed her when she faced Sasuke she appeared now and that stupid voice in her head had become a mere whisper.

_I'm like this because you're coming to terms with your violence._

"No!" She shouted at the mirror, her face a contorted with dread, "They were trying to kill us!"

_Then isn't it convenient that you killed them first?_

The voice in her head was fading but Sakura couldn't help but agree. The incident a while ago had meant that it was either she killed or be killed, wasn't it only logical that she chose the former?

Was it a sign that she was becoming one with that monster that was inside her head?

She heard a laugh.

_Oh, Sakura. We were always the same person._

She looked at the reflection in the mirror. Her face was devoid of any emotion, but she could already see it in her eyes. They were still wide, framed by thick pink eyelashes but she could see that they were the vilest shade of green

_Don't worry. It was only a matter of time. With killing as a profession, this was bound to happen._

She swallowed. Was that true?

Being a ninja meant she would live in a dangerous world. No one could be trusted, even her own teammates can simply kill her with a simple slash of a kunai at her throat.

_Looks like things will become more entertaining. Too bad I won't be here anymore._

She heard Inner Sakura's laughter fade away inside her head and there was silence.

**A/N: I honestly don't know where this story is going. But for some reason, writing Sakura this way is strangely satisfying. Probably in the long run this will just be about how others view her since she's stopped struggling with her Inner Self and has simply realized that she needs this in order to survive or I don't know, maybe how she deals with it. Will she go even crazier or whatever? I have no idea.**

**Also, I want to put it out there that I haven't read the manga nor watched the anime so I have no clue what actually happened during the chuunin exams and that I'm going by knowledge I've gained through reading so many damn stories about how it went and picked up similarities there so feel free to tell me if there's anything wrong.**

**Also, I'm planning to write a new story. A Nejisaku pairing, the very first pairing I fell in love with in this fandom. So I'll hope for everyone's support in this!**

**Please tell me what you think! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Naruto.**

**Beautiful Monsters**

**Chapter 4: Cracks in the Mask**

Kakashi silently roamed the corridors of the tower the second exam was supposed to be held. It was almost time, it seems as a bunch of teams had already passed this part of the exams. Iruka had already informed him that his team was already somewhere inside the tower waiting.

Against his usual character, Kakashi found himself feeling relieved that they were still in one piece. Despite the fact that he refused to admit it even to himself, he had grown quite attached to his team it seemed.

"Iruka-sensei!" He heard a familiar voice.

He turned his head and saw three genin standing in front of the weathered teacher.

"_They look okay for a bunch of kids who passed through the Forest of Death,"_ He thought as he took in their appearances.

They weren't hurt, save for a few bruises and cuts.

But, Kakashi had observed, they were as pale as a ghost. Yamanaka Ino, the blonde girl that Sakura kept on fighting with before, was shaking as she clutched her sides. The Akimichi boy was green and surprisingly enough, wasn't even holding a single food item. Even the Nara boy that was infamous for his lack of ambition and carefree attitude looked like he wouldn't be going to sleep for a while.

"It was horrible!" The blonde practically sobbed, "There was blood! Blood everywhere!"

"Ino, you're probably exaggerating again." Iruka admonished, "I know it might be a shock to see something like that since you're still new to it but you should always try to keep your composure."

Kakashi inwardly nodded. It was imperative for a shinobi to keep calm even under stressful situations. It could make or break their mission.

Besides, it couldn't have been that bad. After all, it had been scoured by capable jounin before it was approved as a venue for the exams, even if it was Anko who was administering it.

"No, you don't understand!" She nearly shouted at the older man, completely ignoring his words.

The Forest of Death was not a kind place. A few injuries were to be expected, especially among the inexperienced. It shouldn't be too bad. The Yamanaka girl was probably just shocked from witnessing whatever fight had occurred there. She was still a genin, after all.

"Ino, calm down." Iruka placated, "This part of the exam is almost over. Just give me the location and we'll send someone over to help."

"No, sensei," He heard the Nara boy speak with a sense of dread that for some reason affected Kakashi more than he would like to admit.

"I don't think that those people can be helped anymore."

* * *

Sasuke watched the arena with mild interest.

There was a huge area in the middle that simulated an almost bare forest. They were told that they were going to be exhibiting their skills to a small audience and success on the exam would be based on their skills and decision-making capabilities.

He frowned.

It meant that even if you win, there was still a chance that you can't be promoted to chuunin. He would have to be careful. He afforded himself a small glance towards his female teammate and was a bit disturbed to see that she was just as lost in thought as he was, her eyes staring into space. Did they turn a shade lighter? He wondered what she was concerning herself with as she bit her lower lip, and he was vaguely reminded of all the blood that trailed down her mouth from the time they were in the forest.

_What a nightmare._

It was why he had been so relieved when he found out that they had a day to themselves to rest in the tower. While he and Naruto had spent it eating and sleeping, Sakura wandered of to who knows where. They couldn't seem to find her anywhere at all.

"Don't disappear like that, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, "Who know what might happen to you!"

Sasuke inwardly cringed at Naruto's statement.

Ignorance truly was bliss.

In all his time as her teammate, he had never thought that the day that he would worry about what she's planning to do would come. The Sakura that he had seen in the forest was… _disturbing, _to say the least.

"_I killed them, Sasuke." She said, "And I enjoyed every minute of it."_

He tried to control the shiver that went down his spine as he relived the moment her crazed eyes looked at him as she relayed the story of how she'd come to kill those nin who had tried to ambush them while he and Naruto were knocked out cold. He blamed his and Naruto's incompetency, if only they were awake... if only they could have fought instead...

_"We couldn't protect her," _Sasuke thought to himself angrily, _"She had no choice but to surrender to her own madness."_ The very same madness that seemed to be tearing her apart.

"Ah, I was just checking up on some things, Naruto." She said, with a small smile. Her voice bringing him back to the present when he realized that it had returned to it's usual tone. She sounded calm, if not a bit toned down.

Sasuke looked at her, unsure if she was already okay. At least she had stopped looking at both him and Naruto like she wanted to slit their throats.

A voice cut through his thoughts, "The first match of the exam will be between Sabaku no Gaara and Rock Lee!"

Naruto whistled beside him, "That Lee guy must be a jerk to be so unlucky!"

Sasuke had to agree with the idiot on this one. Facing Sabaku no Gaara, even he was wary of that redhead. He exuded killing intent so thick Sasuke was sure that if a civilian faced him they would choke on it. That boy would have no chance.

"He's very nice," Sakura said from her perch, her eyes watching the ground below, "Lee, I mean."

Sasuke craned his neck to see what she was looking at and saw that she was staring down the red-haired boy from Suna called Gaara. He suppressed a cringe when the boy returned her stare. For a few seconds, they held each other with their gazes, Sakura not backing down from his glare. It was Gaara who averted his gaze to pay attention to his opponent who was no proceeding to flash the most cringe-worthy smile Sasuke's seen in his life.

He didn't know who he felt more sorry for, Lee or Gaara.

"You know him?" Naruto asked, his eyes holding a hint of disbelief that Sakura was associated with the green spandex nut.

Sakura nodded slowly. "I just met him," She smiled tiredly, "He was very… energetic." She told them but Sasuke noticed that her eyes never shifted from the redhead in the arena.

The look on her face was new, something that Sasuke had never seen on Sakura's face before. It wasn't the look of utter devotion that she threw at him, or the look of incredulity that she threw at Naruto. It registered to him that it was something akin to an animal's ferocity upon realizing that their territory was being encroached upon.

He saw her mouth turn down and her eyes narrow when the sand began to crawl up Lee's arm.

Sasuke smothered a shiver.

It hit him that Sakura viewed Gaara as a threat. He couldn't disagree, all of them we wary of the redhead from Suna. But from how she was acting, she viewed him as a threat because she felt that he was taking her _prey._

…

…

The match itself was fairly quick and completely one-sided. Everyone just watched as Rock Lee used technique after technique, throwing everything he had at the solid defense of Gaara. Sasuke felt a stab of pity at the guy.

"His sand…" He heard Sakura murmur, "it stinks of blood."

"Hn." It was mostly because he didn't know what else to say.

Sakura watched as the taijutsu specialist struggled and said with a sigh that sounded almost bored - but to Sasuke it sounded like a sigh of jealousy, "It's almost over."

Sasuke watched as Lee broke the wall of sand that stood between them and Gaara only for his arm and legs to be consumed by it. He didn't even want to think about what would happen to those appendages but was forced the thought when he heard a crunch and a shout of pain.

The arena was deathly silent.

"Winner. Sabaku no Gaara!"

There was no cheer. No anything.

Only the sounds of the medics running towards the fallen Konoha genin who, in all probability, would never able to walk much less fight.

The proctor of the exam coughed, "Next fight. Haruno Sakura vs. Yoroi Akado."

"Good luck, Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted at the pink-haired girl, finally breaking the silence amongst the genin.

Sasuke only stared after her, a stray thought coming into his mind as he watched the girl descend the steps into the arena below.

"_Yeah, good luck__."_ He briefly wondered if that was directed to her or her opponent but realized that the latter would most probably need it more.

* * *

Sakura stood in the middle of the arena. It was smaller than what she had anticipated from her place in the stands or perhaps it had looked larger because of the fight between Sabaku no Gaara and Rock Lee. There attacks were all so showy it even made this drab arena look so large for the audience.

She watched as her opponent, a masked man with a pair of sunglasses and a Konoha headband, stood in front of her. Despite their small age gap, she couldn't recall who he was so she had no clue of his skills or what kind of jutsu he uses, an obvious disadvantage on her part. The examiner, a young man who looked like he was a jounin stood in between them.

Sakura knew she should be nervous. She should be shaking in fear right about now, because she was going to be fighting. Not only that, she would be fighting in front of an audience. She should be scared of losing and the shame that went along with it; but no, she didn't feel a thing. She didn't know if it was because of what happened in the forest or the slaughter that Gaara had done. Thinking to herself, what she should truly be afraid of was them figuring out the disaster that was her mind. That she could all kill them if her skills allowed it without a single thought.

Still, there was no fear in her system.

She felt numb from everything that had happened.

The way Sasuke would look at her, the way Naruto had no idea about anything that happened, the way Zaku's face looked as she literally chewed on his bones, and the look Dosu had given her before he ran away from her in fear of his own wretched life.

_Monster._

"Begin!"

That word seemed to snap her out of her reverie and before she knew it, her opponent already had a kunai ready in his hand and charged at her without hesitation.

_If only he knew…_

She watched as he used too much force in trying to injure her on his first try, and she already saw an opening as he lost his balance.

_It would be so easy, so goddamned easy, to just plunge a kunai into his neck._

She cringed in disgust at the path that her thoughts had taken and now she began to feel it. The fear that she might actually slaughter this person in front of her, a man who was from her own village, began to seep into her. She couldn't-wouldn't kill him. Everyone would wonder why she would do something so out of character for her, her former self would never resort to something so malevolent even at the face of death.

She avoided another slash.

"Hold still, little girl!" The man said, his tone proud as if he wasn't worth her time.

Sakura looked at him, her eyes wild. She wanted to scream at him to run while he still can, to just stop and save his own life because she was sure that even if she wanted to, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from making a bloodbath out of him.

Yes, she truly was a monster.

The thought terrified her and it was at that moment, that he finally managed to get a hit, his right arm randomly slicing at her, had gotten a slice at her cheek and instinctively, Sakura's right arm lashed out nearly getting a right hook in, making Yoroi jump back.

He was panting from the exertion and Sakura was still reeling in shock.

She touched the wound on her cheek and saw the blood on her fingers and before she knew it, she was already taking out her own kunai.

"You shouldn't have done that." She said, her own voice sounding so unfamiliar to her. She was scared of what she might do, but she was also angry.

Yoroi Akado snorted, "What are you going to do? Cry?"

Her temper flared.

"It's wanna-be ninja like you who make passing these exams pretty easy," He taunted, "You should just go home and stop wasting everyone's time."

Sakura smiled.

These were the times that made her desire to kill so _justifiable._

"You know what," She said out loud, her voice steady and sound very amused, "I'll enjoy your death." She said with a chuckle.

She charged.

Yoroi didn't expect her speed and the resounding clang of metal on metal echoed inside the arena. They struggled with each other, pushing against the hilt of the blade intending to overpower the other. Apparently, he also hadn't expected her strength, for he was already struggling with her a few seconds later. It was then that she noticed the slight movement and the significant drain.

Sakura's eyes widened.

"You're taking my chakra." She hissed, as she tried to wrench her arm from his grasp but his grip was too strong.

"Heh, surprised?" He jeered at her, "It's my special skill. I'm going to drain your reserves until you can barely move."

Sakura narrowed her eyes.

_How dare he._

Bracing her right arm, her left let go of the kunai and quickly reached for the holster on her leg. Taking out a kunai, she gave him a smirk before plunging the kunai into his hand and embedding it into her arm.

"You crazy bitch!" He roared at her but she was successful, the feeling of him taking her chakra had stopped making her wonder if it only worked upon activation.

_Interesting._

Ripping her arm away from him and distinctly feeling her skin being torn apart, she leaned back to get momentum and launched herself at him, before making a swift feint only to appear behind him, her back so deliciously displayed to her she couldn't resist. She raised the kunai fully-intending to sink it into his fragile spine.

But he apparently still had the sense to evade it.

"This is just an exam, you idiot!" He cursed at her, cradling the hand that still contained her weapon.

She wasn't deterred and proceeded to make quick slashes at him, not really feeling that she could get a hit but wanting him to get distracted enough to act sloppily. She'll make him regret every single thing he said.

"What the hell are you doing?" He shouted, as he avoided each blow by going side to side.

Sakura snorted, "Trying to kill you."

"As if-Argh!" He groaned in pain, as she twisted the kunai violently that she had managed to impale into his shoulder.

She quickly gathered up her remaining chakra into her hands and touched his chest. The smell of burning fabric and then of burning skin permeated her nose, and pushed hard.

* * *

_BAM!_

Everybody watched as the body of her student's opponent flew to the end of the arena and hit the cemented wall. _Hard._

Kakashi would have cringed if he wasn't so shocked at what his student had done.

She had put her basic training to use, the training where she had excelled above the rest, _chakra control. _He had guessed that she pooled the chakra into the palms of her hands, much like how she did to her feet when she walked on water, and pretty much flayed his insides alive with the heat from her energy. It was a gruesome way to win, but it was a win nonetheless. Her application of the basics were wonderful and innovative but certainly worrying.

For the second time that day, silence reigned within the venue of the chuunin exams after watching two genin fight.

Surprisingly, it was his own student who broke it, "I hope he's not dead."

For some reason, Kakashi didn't feel an ounce of sincerity in her voice. He briefly wondered if it was because of the frown that was marring her features or the way she stared down her opponent who was already on the floor.

Her words seemed to have the intended effect and Genma snapped out of his stupor to quickly check if the man who was slumped against the wall was still alive and if Sakura had won her match.

"He's alive," He heard Genma's voice ring out through the arena, but he could see the thinly disguised apprehension on the man's face, "Winner. Haruno Sakura."

He glanced at his only female student, expecting something akin to relief grace her features but her frown only worsened as she stared at Yoroi as if he had offended her in some way upon the announcement of his survival despite her obvious victory.

"Erm, you can go back up now." Genma said.

Sakura gave Yoroi Akado one last look as the healers that rushed in crowded around him before she turned and trudged up the steps towards her teammates.

As she took her place between Naruto and Sasuke, Kakashi briefly saw the young Uchiha gave her a look before Naruto hounded at her with shouts of congratulations. He had also noticed that despite Sasuke's obvious dislike for physical contact outside of fighting, the boy made a lot of effort not to get too close to her without anyone noticing.

The day wore on.

And finally, the contestants for the last part of the exams were chosen.

_Sabaku no Gaara, Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, Sabaku no Temari, Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Neji, Nara Shikamaru._

Kakashi excused himself for feeling more than a little pride that his whole team had made it.

But, his face blanched slightly, he needed to confront the issues that were now blatantly obvious to him such as Sakura's lack of worry over the well-being of her opponemt and Sasuke's blatant discomfort around her.

The former being the more bothersome problem.

He had observed her while the matches continued. He expected her to cry or at least, turn pale enough when she had realized the extent of what she had done to that young boy but she hadn't. She continued to frown as if she was even disappointed. Match after match had gone by, and she only frowned even more.

"Sakura-chan," He finally saw her, as she exited the tower. They were allowed to go home to rest up and prepare for the upcoming matches. He had been waiting for her, which was a bother since she was the last one who exited. Why that was, he had no idea.

The young girl turned to the tree he was currently sitting at, his orange book in his hand. He raised a brow in slight surprise that she could detect him but he immediately reminded himself that she was the most talented in chakra control among his students so he really shouldn't be surprised.

"What's is it, Kakashi-sensei?" She asked, her face looked so innocent as she stared at him in wonder and he briefly forgot that this was the girl who basically cooked her opponent alive in front of everyone.

"What happened out there?" That was all that he could say as he had no idea how to even open the topic of killing with her. Of all his students, he had not expected to have this problem with sweet little Sakura.

The look on her face instantly changed at the question, the frown from earlier returning. There was something going on and he was going to find out even if it was the last thing he did.

"Sakura," Kakashi started, jumping down from his perch from the tree and nearing her, "Did something happen?"

She had stiffened at the use of her name but after a few moments her shoulders slumped, as if dejectedly resigning to a horrible fate. Whatever it was that had happened, he wasn't so sure he liked it.

"Sensei, did you… did you notice anything different lately?"

'_Apart from the fact that you've suddenly had an interest in butchering my bunshins and then roasting a man alive, no." _But he wisely kept his mouth shut and opted to coax her into continuing.

"Sensei, before I tell you anything you have to promise-" She grabbed at his jacket, shaking him a little, not on purpose, as he noticed that she herself was trembling.

"I have to promise what?" Kakashi asked gently.

She let go of his jacket but she then proceeded to grab at his face. Her two soft hands on his cheeks, pulling him down to her level of sight before saying, "You have to promise that you won't _run away_, run away just like the other one_. _Just like what Sasuke's doing now!" She nearly wailed at him.

Kakashi blinked. So, she had noticed the young Uchiha's discomfort around her. He wouldn't have taken her seriously if he hadn't noticed that pleading look in her eyes that looked like if he reacted with any form of disbelief, he would break whatever was left of her. The look in her eyes that said that he should listen to her before he should even considering lecturing her like he would a child.

"Don't worry. I won't." Kakashi said, opting to try to give the young girl a little bit of comfort with a small hug despite his own qualms about physical contact. She seemed to relax at that, her shaking lessening and she began taking deep breaths as if readying herself, "Now, are you ready to tell me what's wrong?"

He heard a sniffle and then the most incredulous words he had ever heard, "I… sensei… I think I'm becoming a _monster_."

**Hello there! Now well, I'm not particularly good at writing fight scenes but it was unavoidable. So, meh.**

**Also, if anyone's interested I just wrote another fic titled 'Practice'. It's Sasusaku! It's a pretty short oneshot though and mostly romantic fluff. I needed the break from all of the dark stuff here.**

**Please review! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**All standard disclaimers apply.**

**Beautiful Monsters**

**Chapter 5: Catalyst**

Sakura curled herself into a ball on her bed and wrapped her sheets tighter around her but it didn't make a difference. She knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. She hadn't been able to for a while now. It all started when her inner personality had begun to go psychotic, she couldn't fall asleep unless it was drug-induced and then her immunity started to kick in. Now, she had to train herself short of death before she could manage to get any rest done.

Lack of sleep, hardcore training and the vast amounts of soldiers pills had been taking were already taking a toll on her body. She was always thin and pale but now she looked so fragile. The dark circles under her eyes were already more pronounced, and she was already losing weight, her body only managing to retain the muscles because of the punishment she put it through everyday at the training grounds.

She glanced around her room. It seemed unfamiliar.

What was once so organized was in a state of chaos. Books piled up at the side of her bed and jutsu scrolls were scattered all over the floor together with discarded food containers that were now empty. She was somehow glad that she no longer lived with her parents. They would probably be livid if she did.

She sighed tiredly.

After her latest battle, she was still worn out, physically and emotionally. The face of the boy she most likely killed still flashed inside her head but it was rare. After her match, she had locked herself up in the bathroom and ignored anyone who came knocking, regardless if they knew it was her inside or not.

She had been in a state of turmoil. She shouldn't have done what she did to the boy. She had tried to not engage him in battle and simply dodge around until he wore himself out but he got to her first. The graze on her cheek had barely hurt and the self-inflicted wound on her arm had been nothing; however, when that boy had started taking her chakra she felt so _violated_. Like he had done her a personal offense and had invaded her personal space, she felt her energy slowly trickling out of her as if he was capable of taking her very life with his strange ability.

_Yes._

He _should_ die.

Her thoughts were taking a turn for the worst but she couldn't control her anger. He had _hurt _her after she had tried so hard not to do so to him. Was everyone like this? Would they only answer her care and protection with pain and betrayal? If so, then she wished she had killed him, wished so utterly hard that she burnt his insides to ashes like the hell he deserved to rot in.

She reeled from her thoughts, the guilt eating her up. He was still from Konoha, the village she swore herself to once she had become a ninja. But why was her own comrade trying to actively hurt her? She couldn't understand. Even if it was for something as important as the chuunin exams, he had taunted her and actively tried to kill her.

_Why_

_Why_

_WHY_

Her thoughts were all in a jumble, but it wasn't enough to distract her from the sudden presence in her room. She felt herself suddenly jump up from her position on her bed after grabbing the kunai that she had stuck inside her pillow, ready to defend herself if the intruder was hostile. She raised her eyes to the bemused look of her sensei, his hands held up in clear indication that he had meant no harm.

"Sakura," She heard her sensei speak, and she calmed down but there was still a bit of tension around her frame. She wasn't comfortable when another person was in her home but she was exhausted so she flopped down onto her bed and watched as her sensei looked around her room with one of his eyebrows raised.

She grunted in response, drawing the blankets closer to her and returning to her previous position. Despite the fact that the jounin didn't seem to think anything bad of her, she wasn't sure how to act around her sensei after she confessed her situation to him. She was sure he believed her, despite the incredulity of her story, and for that she was grateful.

He grabbed a fire jutsu scroll from the floor, quietly inspecting it, "I didn't know you lived alone."

"My parents kicked me out after I decided to become a ninja." It was true. Her merchant parents expected her to continue making the family business prosper and had been so against her decision to join such a violent world but for some reason she stood up for herself, adamant that she do what she wanted with her life. It was hers, after all.

Looking back, she thought that maybe they were right.

"Sensei," She began, not really knowing what she wanted to say. She just wanted someone to comfort her, someone who wouldn't judge but it looked like she didn't have to say anything as the older man only let out a sigh and approached her bed, sitting down at the end. She nearly flinched as he began to comb her hair with his hands, untangling all the knots that had accumulated. She realized she hadn't really brushed it for a long time.

"You know, Sakura, if anyone ever saw us like this they'll probably think I'm some kind of cradle snatcher." He teased but didn't stop.

Sakura let out a snort, "Don't worry, sensei. Everyone already knows you're a pervert."

Kakashi feigned a hurt expression.

Sakura couldn't help but give a small smile, something that had become so rare for her that she herself was actually surprised. It had been a while since she had felt so safe and at ease. She missed those carefree times she had with her team. Running around chasing cats, painting walls, fixing roofs and what not. Now everything seemed like some far off dream. She would give anything for those days of before that she found quite tedious and boring.

The exam had kept her tension up. Every time she made a move, she had to make sure that no one was going to suddenly kill her. She had slowly realized that despite her fascination with causing bodily harm, she was terrified of dying herself. After all, didn't she give in to the whispers so she could survive?

Spending time with Sasuke and even Naruto, made her uncomfortable because she would habitually let her guard down so she had opted to avoid them as much as she could. Sasuke probably didn't care much but she felt guilty when Naruto flashed her a look of hurt.

Her paranoia with everything was draining her. It was probably what caused her to break down in front of her teacher. After confessing everything to her sensei, she didn't know what to do. He had merely stared at her, probably trying to see if she was Naruto doing some kind of prank on him or if she was lying to get out of the exams or whatever excuse he had thought up. She briefly recalled their conversation.

"_Sensei, why do we kill?" She asked, her voice already hoarse as she looked up at him, briefly removing her face from his torso. __After initially staring at her like she had grown another head, her teacher had awkwardly put his arms around her as a show of comfort._

_Kakashi looked at her, possibly contemplating his answer, "To protect ourselves, our home and the people who matter."_

That was what Kakashi said when she had told her sensei about everything that she had done. She had confessed to him her thoughts upon the death of Haku, about how she didn't want to give in at first, about how she had only lost herself in her madness when she felt that they would die in the forest of death and how she was so scared that Yoroi would end up killing her when he drained her chakra.

Instead of looking at her like she had gone crazy – which she probably did – he stayed quiet, not moving as she cried into his shirt.

He understood.

"_You should never regret wanting to live, Sakura."_

Sakura sighed.

It was so tiring.

_So very tiring._

She closed her eyes.

* * *

Kakashi watched from above as his only female student's eyes fluttered close.

He had gone looking for the younger girl after doing his daily ritual at the monument. But even he had to admit, that his only female student was the one who plagued his thoughts upon his visit there. She continued stroking the girl's pink hair, trying to get his fingers through the entire length of it without snagging on any of the tangles.

He remembered a time when Sakura was so concerned about her hair. Now it looks like she barely finds the time to comb it.

And from the looks of it, she didn't even have the time to even clean her room. He looked around the small space, registering the different stuff scattered all about: Books and scrolls were all over the floor among piles of takeout packaging, on her dresser were bottles upon bottles of something he didn't know but vaguely looked like soldier pills, and he didn't even care to look at the assorted weaponry all over the floor.

He remembered the sweet little girl that he had been assigned to take charge of. She had been more obsessed with her looks and his other student but she was happy and had a good heart. Now, _this_ girl was barely a ghost of that very same person.

It was obvious that this had been going on for a while. From what she had told him, it started after their mission to the Land of the Waves. Perhaps it had been a bad reaction to the death of Haku? After all, genin as green as them wouldn't normally be allowed to witness death, much less the death of a child. Killing the boy in front of his team was a bad idea, he knew, but he didn't have much a choice.

The incident had probably shaken her up the most. Naruto was too optimistic and Sasuke too experienced in such matters that he doubted that the two boys would have any problem dealing with it but Sakura always was the most emotionally unstable of the three. She had been born a civilian as well, so violence during missions was probably never explained to her. He remembered her shaking form as she told him about what she had done in the forest. Compared to that, what she had done during the preliminaries looked like a children's party.

Kakashi sighed inwardly.

Yes, this was just a bad reaction. She'll snap out of it soon enough.

_She had to._

"I'll be training Sasuke for the exams," He said nonchalantly, "If you want I can probably teach you a jutsu or two."

Sakura picked things up fast. He honestly didn't expect her to advance this far which was why he hadn't prepared a teacher for her but it can't be helped now. It was his duty to prepare his students for whatever's going to be thrown their way, even if he can't fully devote his time to her, he can surely give her an edge over her opponent.

"I'll be okay, Kakashi-sensei," She smiled, never moving from her position, and somehow Kakashi felt like she won't be.

This girl was a lot like himself even more so than Sasuke was. While Sasuke and Naruto sulked or thrashed about in anger when they were depressed, Sakura preferred to suffer in silence. The habit that she didn't want other people to be concerned or worried about her, he believed she had gotten that from him. It wasn't very healthy but there isn't much they can do to change it.

He snapped out of his thoughts and realized that he was staring at his female student. He knew she was awake, judging from her shallow breathing, but she looked exhausted so he didn't want to disturb her. He changed his position and he suddenly felt a sharp pain on his hand, making him glance at what had injured him. He was surprised to find that the kunai she had held moments before had unwittingly given him a small cut and the metallic scent of blood permeated the air.

Sakura's eyes snapped open.

If Kakashi wasn't such a good ninja, he would've jumped in surprise when the girl suddenly sat up and began looking around frazzled.

"What happened?" She asked, her eyes wild.

Kakashi put his uninjured hand on her shoulder, "Maa, Sakura-chan," He said whilst trying to calm her down, "It's only a cut." He then proceeded to show her his right hand that was now sporting a small cut courtesy of a kunai stuck between her pillows.

He saw the young girl relax only slightly, her eyes staring at the blood slowly dripping out. It wasn't a deep cut, it just caught him off guard. Of all people he didn't expect Sakura to be sleeping with weapons in her beddings but it was good that she was cautious. She lived alone after all. Maybe he should do something about that.

"Sakura?" He asked, checking to see if the young girl was okay as she had spent the past minute just looking at his hand.

Upon hearing her name, she finally snapped out of her stupor before calmly taking his hand in between hers. He noticed her pause when the small trickle of blood stained her pale hands but she only blinked before they began to glow a pale green. Kakashi watched in amazement as he felt the wound on his hand close slowly but surely, surprised at his student's ability at healing that he was sure he had never heard of much less taught.

"Where did you learn to heal, Sakura?" He asked, as he slowly lifted his hand to his eyes to check if she had truly managed to fix it. The place where the cut had been was now smooth. Not even a scar had been left behind.

He glanced at his student who was still looking at him intently before she noticed his attention. She shrugged before gesturing to the pile of books beside her bed, "Books and practice. I haven't been able to sleep lately so I've been reading up but I can only heal cuts and scrapes."

Kakashi raised a brow, "It would've taken you a lot of chakra."

Once again, she gave a small shrug, this time not bothering to give him an answer. He frowned inwardly. Healing wasn't an easy task, one had to have a very good knowledge of the body although he knew Sakura to be quite intelligent, he was still surprised that she could absorb so information at one given time. Strength and deep chakra reserves were very important to a ninja but they was very common among children born into shinobi families, intelligence was not.

Not to mention that the amount of practice required to perfect healing, even wounds that were just skin deep, would probably leave her drained of chakra for a few days. That was usually why learning medical ninjutsu took twice as long than average ninjutsu. Also, it's why there were very few medic-nins.

He decided to save the lecture for later, seeing that she probably wasn't up for lecture right now, "I didn't know you were interested in healing."

He actually didn't know she was interested in anything other than Sasuke but the past few days were already changing his mind.

"I'm not," She said nonchalantly before picking up a book on the floor and began to read. Glancing at the thick text, Kakashi figured it had something to do with human anatomy.

"Why study it then?" Kakashi wondered. Thinking about it now, healing was probably an ideal skill for Sakura seeing that she already had near-perfect chakra control. With a little more practice and training, he was sure that she can still refine it to better even the more talented medical ninja.

Sakura didn't even look up from her book before saying, "When you know how to fix things, you can just as easily break them."

* * *

Sasuke glared at the wooden post as if it had offended him.

He thought he had grown strong. He graduated the top of his class, his skills unmatched by anyone in his year, but the chuunin exams quickly erased those thoughts in his head. He couldn't let go the incident in the Forest of Death, the fact that he'd been unconscious the whole time from who knows what. Perhaps it was his own fault, he had become too arrogant, too complacent during the past few years especially since he had joined Team Seven.

Team Seven had been too much like a family.

With Kakashi as their father-like figure, guiding them and teaching them, even if sometimes he acts like a total idiot. Naruto, trying to make everyone happy with his never-ending optimism and energy. And of course, there's Sakura. Being the only girl on their team made her special, she was always the princess and all of them had taken a silent oath to protect her.

Despite his displays of resentment of his teammates (and everyone for that matter), they had already gotten under his skin, making him forget about his true goal.

He was getting _weak_.

To think that he could only silently stand to the side because of his fear of his pink-haired teammate, but could he actually blame himself for that? Seeing Sakura bathed in the blood of their enemies made him realize a lot of things.

The most important of them was that he couldn't win against his brother if he was still this weak. Sakura even had to protect him while he and Naruto snoozed away their injuries by that snakeman that they had encountered in the forest.

"_You will seek me to seek power."_

Those were the words of that man that seemed to be invincible.

It was an invitation. However he knew that man most likely wanted something from him as well. Sasuke wasn't stupid, he knew that his offer wasn't out of the goodness of his heart and it made him hesitant. Whatever that vile _thing_ had in store for him, would it be worth it to be able to defeat Itachi?

* * *

Naruto stood in the area for the participants alone. Where his teammates were, he absolutely had no clue and he was already losing his patience. Sasuke, he knew, was being trained by Kakashi, their sensei had told him that much but Sakura had gone missing the moment that the fights from the preliminaries had ended and he was getting worried about her.

He twitched in slight annoyance.

Sasuke he could do without, but he didn't expect even his Sakura-chan to be late for a such a special event. It was simply too out of character for her. Granted that Sakura hasn't exactly been acting normal lately.

"_Good job, Sakura-chan!" He congratulated her as she approached him and Sasuke after her fight with that weird sunglasses guy that wasn't Shino._

"_Ah, yeah." Was the only reply he got. He could clearly see the frown set on her pretty face and briefly wondered if she got injured badly._

"_You should probably get yourself treated if you hurt anywhere, Sakura-chan!" He began, "The medics here are probably great if they think they could fix what you did to that guy!" He had meant it as a joke, but for some reason, he kind of believed it._

"_Hn, he's probably dead." Sasuke added. Even though the proctor announced that her opponent was still among the living, everyone kind of doubted it._

_Naruto smothered a flinch, "Shut up, bastard! Nobody asked you!"_

"_Sasuke-kun's probably right." Sakura replied, "But in any case, I should've checked if I finished the job."_

_He felt his face blanch at her words, and he was sure, if the sudden drain of color on his face making him even paler was any indication, Sasuke's did the same thing._

Naruto inwardly sighed. His female teammates had done a complete one-eighty, not only in skills, but also in attitude. At first he thought that it was Sakura-chan trying her best to impress the bastard but lately, she hasn't even tried to talk to Sasuke. Despite his dislike for his black-haired teammates, he wasn't sure if he liked that.

"Naruto!" He heard a familiar voice call his name, turning around he came face to face with the pink-haired girl of his thoughts.

"Sakura-chan!" He grinned happily, "You're late!"

She shook her head, "You're just early. The fights are just about to start."

He glanced at her rumpled appearance. Noting that she looked even more exhausted than she usually did, which was saying something. Her long pink hair was already starting to curl at the ends because of neglect and her eyes…

Naruto shuddered.

He wasn't sure but he thought that they had changed color or something.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he decided to ask her about her fight today, "Who're you going against, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura shrugged prettily as they made their way to the stands reserved for the participants, "That boy named Inuzuka Kiba, I think."

"You mean Dog-breath?" Naruto exclaimed. He briefly remembered the boy from their time in the academy. He was really loud, and coming from him… Yeah, he was really loud but he wasn't so bad.

"Sabaku no Temari and Tenten, proceed to the arena!" The announcement was loud and clear. The two aforementioned kunoichi jumped from the competitor's box, landing on opposite sides each. Naruto didn't know either one of them.

Sabaku no Temari, he knew from her last fight utilizes that big fan that she always carries around. How she manages to lug it all the time, he had no clue. Tenten, on the other hand, the only thing he knew about her was that she was teammates with that spandex-wearing guy that Gaara literally pulverized.

"Oh great." The sand-nin said with a roll of her eyes, "Now, we just have to deal with that other freak and we'll have a complete set." She sneered, clearly talking about her opponent's team but the bun-haired girl didn't seem to be the least bit intimidated.

The girl merely snorted, "You can try attacking Neji all you want. I doubt you'd be able to touch him."

Naruto remembered the pale-eyed Hyuuga boy that did quiet a number to Hinata. As much as he wanted to give the idiot the personal beating he most probably deserved, he doubted he would win their fight that was to be held later on that day but he would definitely try. Hyuuga Neji was very arrogant, but he definitely had the skills to back it up.

"That's what they said about that green weirdo but hmm… I wonder what happened." The blonde taunted making half the audience gasp at her audacity.

The jibe against Lee had been enough and the other girl finally took the bait. With a growl, the Konoha kunoichi launched herself at Temari with everything she had. Scrolls flew all over the area whilst releasing a barrage of weapons, Naruto couldn't help but gasp at the sight in amazement.

"Tch. How boring." Temari, who hadn't even budged from her spot, merely opened her fan and with a swing, rendered all of Tenten's weapons useless with a huge gust of wind that made the crowd wow. Even Naruto had to admit that it had been pretty amazing.

He saw Tenten grasped a kunai that was flying in midair before throwing it again at the blonde-haired nin, hoping that it would connect while the other girl was busy preparing her jutsu as the fan looked difficult to wield. Everyone watched as the blonde-haired nin merely sighed, as if tired with a game and promptly appeared behind the bun-haired girl who wasn't prepared when one of the blunt ends of the huge fan hit her back making her fly across the area.

"This is getting boring pretty fast." Sabaku no Temari drawled, "You should at least fight back so I don't look like I'm beating up the weak."

Naruto watched, slightly feeling sorry for the Konoha-nin. This was a bad match-up. Temari's jutsu was probably the perfect counter for Tenten's weapons and everyone knew it. Some of the people in the crowd were already shaking their heads in slight pity.

"Might as well get this over with." He heard the blonde say before she disappeared again, appearing in front of the struggling kunoichi and promptly hit her with the end of her fan flipping her like a pancake in midair.

Naruto watched with the crowd as the unconscious body of the brown-haired kunoichi land on the fan's blunt end. Half the crowd cringed while the other half went silent. The match had gone so fast, it wasn't even a challenge for the sand kunoichi.

"Winner. Sabaku no Temari."

Some clapping was heard. Despite the fact that one of their own kunoichi was severely beaten up, they weren't sore enough losers not to give the Sand-nin the credit she deserves. She was skilled.

_Ruthless, but definitely skilled._

"Sheesh. I'm glad I wasn't matched up with her!" He muttered under his breath. He could only imagine himself being thrown around the arena like that and it already made him want to puke.

"Hmm. Yeah," Then he felt a hand on his shoulder, "You should still be careful during your match though. That girl should've forfeited when she had the chance, it was clear enough that her weapons were no match."

"Don't be silly, Sakura-chan! You should always do your best!" He said as he turned to the pink-haired kunoichi beside him.

The girl looked very grim. Perhaps it was because of her previous match that she was acting like this, but he didn't like it when she acted so seriously. It felt like something was going to go terribly wrong.

"A live ninja is better than a dead one," She said, her eyes never leaving his. They were a strange shade of green that he had never noticed before, "Defeat is something we can accept, death is not."

Naruto couldn't help but stare at her, her words somehow sounded like they held a different meaning, "Sakura-chan…"

"But don't worry." She smiled at him, "I'll protect you."

Naruto knew he should contradict her. He should say that he'll be the one to protect her, that he and that bastard would save her time and time again if need be, but he couldn't voice out his thoughts.

It was because the smile on her face looked so sweet… _so Sakura._

And so _fake_.

Before he could open his mouth, a loud voice interrupted him, "Haruno Sakura versus Inuzuka Kiba."

**Hello there! I'm sorry this took me a while. Uni has already been taking up a lot of my time but I'm still planning to finish this! And to be honest, I'm kind of stuck in a rut. I'm not even sure why. Hahaha.**

**To answer some of your questions, I am aware of the timeline of events despite not reading the manga/watching the anime. I just chose to skip parts because I don't really think they were necessary.**

**From here on though there might be some changes, to suit my writing better (like not being good at fight sequences -_- ). Anyway, that's all I wanted to say I think.**

**Also, to answer one reviewer, I'm a girl. HAHA. My username is like OTP at 1/2 Prince :)) I SWEAR I'M IN LOVE WITH WICKED OKAY. Makes me sad that they didn't end up together (spoiler, sorry).**

**Thank you guys for all your lovely reviews! Especially to Rose Rain 7. I swear I take like around 5 minutes just to read a review from you but it's definitely worth it.**

**Please review! It really helps my writer's block.**


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